Jessa and Ben: Their story

Question from a "19 Kids and Counting" fan on Facebook: How did your daughter Jessa meet Ben?

We met Ben when his family came to visit our church. Afterwards we invited their family over to our home for fellowship, as we often do with guests to our church. I think Ben spotted Jess, but he didn’t go up to her then. We’d met Ben’s parents years ago when we were in the Little Rock area while Jim Bob was serving in the legislature. We visited a church that they attended, so we did know their family in a roundabout way, just a distant friendship.

During fellowship at our home, Ben and Jim Bob would often sit with the guys and talk about doctrine and the Bible. At one point, Jim Bob said to Ben, "You know, you’ve been bringing up a lot of these truths from the scripture. This is a topic that we’ve actually been talking about in our home and Jessa has really been studying this very thing. You guys would probably enjoy talking about it. So why don’t you text her?"

It’s so funny. Jim Bob was the initiator. I don’t know if Jim Bob even knew that Ben was really interested in her, but he had already spotted Jessa. They started texting and talking about these scriptures and things just took off.

A few of our girls have had men come up to them and ask for their phone numbers. And our daughters have always explained to them that if anybody asked for their phone numbers, they would tell them to ask their dad. Then they would give them Jim Bob’s phone number. Sometimes the guy would never call and other times they would, but the girls would quickly let Jim Bob know if there was an interest on their part. Jim Bob is the "no" man.

He doesn’t mind being that guy and he’ll always use these calls as an opportunity to encourage those young men in their walk with Christ. A lot of times that weeds out the young men. Either they’ve got a spiritual focus or they don’t.

Have a burning question for Michelle Duggar? Send it to her and it could appear in an upcoming post! Or catch up with all of Michelle's Blogs.

Duggars in 2013 review

January 2013

John David started a new job
Duggars visited south America
Michelle shares her thoughts about adoption
John David and Jana turn 23
Joseph turns 18


February 2013
Duggars release new photos of their mission trip

March 2013
Josh turns 25
Duggars release more photos of their family
Duggars's special on when they went to Asia was released

April 2013
Jason turned 13
Duggars started showing season 7

May 2013
Jill turn 22
Jackson turn 9

June 2013
Marcus was born on June 2nd (Grandson)
Michael turned two on June 16 (grandson)
Anna turned 25
Marcus's birth story was released

July 2013
Jim Bob and Michelle celebrated another year of marriage
Jim Bob got another year older
James turn another year older

August 2013
Jennifer and Joisah turned another year older

September 2013
Duggar returns to air part 2 of season seven
Michelle and Amy turned another year older
Josh and Anna celebrated their 5th year together
Jessa and Ben started a courtship

October 2013
Johannah and Joy Anna turned another year older

November 2013
Jessa and Justin turned another year older

December 2013
Josie, Jordyn, Jedidiah, Jeremiah, and Jinger turned another year older

Michelle Duggar on Why She Chose Modest Dress

Family Travel on 09.30.13

Michelle Duggar 19 Kids and Countingbio

Photo: DCL

Question from a "19 Kids and Counting" fan on Facebook: Why did you decide to follow a style of modest dress and what are your family guidelines?

After I was born again and became a Christian, I really began to cover up. I felt like the Lord was saying to me, you know what, you probably shouldn’t be wearing that. It’s a little bit low cut, or a little bit too high, you know. I just really felt like I needed to obey what God was saying to me first and understand later. And then I saw in the scriptures a lot of things that helped me understand why I was feeling uncomfortable with my previous clothing choices. And I’m not saying this is for everyone because I realize different people are at different places and aren’t always going to have the same way of interpreting things.

Interestingly, Jim Bob and I had a conversation at that point and I said to him, I really feel like the Lord is impressing upon me that I should be modest in what I wear. And also, that I really should be defining who I am as a woman by choosing to wear dresses and skirts. So Jim Bob said, what about when we’re riding bicycles or going hiking? Do you think the Lord wants you to wear a dress then? How are you going to do that? What about swimming and all these other things that we do?

And I said, well, I don’t know the answer to that, but I’ll cross that bridge when we get there. I just feel like the Lord is saying, do this Michelle. Honor me in this way. I don’t always know the answers and details, but I just wanted to honor him. And so I did. I began cleaning out my closet and I had to go shopping. I went to thrift stores and different places because most of my clothes were not skirts and dresses. I really had to do some research to find things that were modest and so I’d have more things to choose from in my closet.

As we studied as a family, we found we could come up with our idea of what we thought modesty was, but we really wanted to see what the scriptures said about it. Our interpretation was that from the neck down to the knee should be covered. By keeping those private areas covered, there’s not any “defrauding” going on. My kids are taught the definition of defrauding as stirring up desires that cannot be righteously fulfilled. We don’t believe in defrauding others by the way we dress. And different people may be defrauded by different things. We can’t control their thoughts, but we’re responsible before God for our part. And so years ago, I just felt between me and my Lord that I really needed to dress modestly.

We always tell our children, go to his word. It’s not about these rigid standards. I meet many different people along life’s way and I hear some people say they are so sick of rules and regulations, and they go on and on about how they were raised in a certain denomination. I’m hearing what they’re saying, but I don’t understand it because that’s not where I came from. It’s not drudgery; it really is a joy to see what God says about things and bring that into our lives.

Have a burning question for Michelle Duggar? Send it to her and it could appear in an upcoming post!

Cousin Amy birthday

Amy is the oldest grandchild for Mary and JL. She turns another year older

Duggars on courtship!

Michelle Duggar on Courtship

FAMILY MATTERS on 09.20.13

Michelle Duggar19 Kids and CountingBIO

 

Photo: DCL

Question from a "19 Kids and Counting" fan on Facebook: How do you decide when one of the children is ready for courtship?

In my home, we like to think very carefully about courtship and getting to know potential husbands and wives. Why would you consider really getting to know someone closely if you didn’t think that there would be a potential for marriage? A person really needs to ask themselves, are they at the point in their life where they are ready for marriage? If they are, they need to be careful in how they handle this whole idea of getting to know someone because the emotions and the hormones that are involved in that season of life can really get out of hand if you really don’t have a good perspective.

We want them to make sure they’re ready for marriage, and that they are really prepared for it. For one of my daughters, there would be a lot of things that she would want to consider. Can I really, truly manage a household? Am I able to manage the money, purchase the things I need for my home and get all those ducks in a row to be married and run a household? 

In a potential suitor, we’d want a gentleman that loves the Lord and is growing in his relationship with him. He really needs to have that relationship as the priority of his life that drives him to do the things that God would want him to do. And he would have to be prepared to provide for his wife, which would mean he needs to have an income to support them and the stability to have a home, whether renting or owning. He’d also need to be a good protector for his wife and future family.

At this point, we’ve got a number of our older children that I think are ready for that next step in life. Our son John David has got a job and a home. He’s leasing that home out as rental income and putting the money aside. He’s also getting his pilot license right now and he’s been a fireman and a police officer, and now he’s a constable. So he’s definitely at that place in life where he’s ready to be a husband and a provider and he would be open to courting a young lady if he felt she would be the one for him.

Then our daughters, we’ve got Jana, Jill, Jessa and Jinger that are very capable of being married and having that close relationship with a special one. They manage a lot of our household; they like to do a lot of our shopping for clothes and food. That’s not a big deal for them, they love doing it anyway. But they’re good at it and good at managing things.

It’s just a matter of praying as different individuals come in to our lives. If they really sense that there’s an interest, the girls will study him and try to find out more about him in their time together. They need to get along really well and might get to know each other a little better through emailing or talking. There’s a lot of ways you can get to know somebody besides just being alone with them. They need to be a friend before they would even consider making a commitment to courtship.

And that’s kind of how it goes. It’s not just pairing off and going and doing things together alone, but getting to know them and their families too. Finding out from those that know the potential suitor, is this person quick to anger? How do they handle problems at work? Do they really have it together?

I think it’s probably going to be a little different for each of the kids. It’ll be interesting to see as time goes on how all of it pans out.

Have a burning question for Michelle Duggar? Send it to her and it could appear in an upcoming post!

big changes recaps

During the first few minutes, the family introduces their new opening. 

Josh and Anna load up their three children for Marcus first doctor appointment. The doctor gives them the Okay to take him there. When they finally get to DC, they need to find a place to live.They show three places and now they need to make a choice.

The family decided to help out by packing up their old house and then move to DC within days. Anna has told her children that they are moving to D.C. Michelle gets some grandma time before the kids move away.Josh had gotten a label maker and the kids decided to get labels on everyone's back. They get everything pack and then it's time for lunch where they get a surprise visit from their trainer and manages to get his help loading up the truck. Steve accidentally took Marcus bouncing seat into the back of the truck. Josh and Anna say farewell to their old house and hits the road.

The family heads for DC and makes a pit stop to the Bates family. Jana and John were driving the moving trucks. Josiah and Josh were in the rv and jessa and Jinger were driving SUV. Joseph was driving the truck.  The family called the Bates family to see if they could come and see them which allow them to meet the new baby. The Bates gave them a surprising baby shower for them. The big families sat down and ate dinner. They spend the night there and decided to leave early the next morning. To give the kids some time to play, they stop and play for a good nap time. Afterwards, they 

They end up spending their first night in their motor home in front of their new home. 

Which house did they chose: they chose the third house that was shown! 

Tune in tomorrow for the trivia questions.

a courtship

back to school!

Back to Homeschooling with the Duggars

FAMILY MATTERS on 09.03.13

Michelle Duggar19 Kids and CountingBIO

 

Photo: DCL

Question from a "19 Kids and Counting" fan on Facebook: How do you monitor how the kids are doing with homeschooling? Do they have tests that they take every year? And how do the kids feel about going “back to school” in the fall?

In the state of Arkansas, we take tests every year just like the public school kids do, so at the end of each school year, we will go and take our standardized tests. Every state is different on how their homeschool laws work, but we file our letter of intent to homeschool at the beginning of each school year. We start in August and do a little through the summer, to keep up with things like music lessons and reading. My kids are always reading. They’re usually reading either science or history books -- keeping their minds busy with good reading material, a lot of biographies and that sort of stuff.

Our schedule changes depending on the season of life that we’re in. Right now, we’ve got a lot of older children that are working, driving, and coming and going. Often, I will have a schedule on the wall and then six months later, I’ll switch it up a little bit and change the times that they’re going to be practicing their music or doing their science, history, or law, etc. I switch it up just because it makes it a little bit more interesting than always doing the same thing at the same time. Usually we do breakfast, lunch and dinner about the same time, but all those other things can move around in the schedule. And that makes it more fun for them.

Their excitement about going back to school is probably the same as everyone else’s kids. When they’re young, it’s always so exciting to get back or at least get started on schoolwork. The first time, they feel like big kids and they’re in school. They’re just thrilled.

My bigger ones that have been through it year after year see it more like going back to the grind. Once we’re in that routine, I can tell everybody really is glad to be back -- even though they might not say it! There is the comfort of being in that routine again. We’re checking off our list. We’re accomplishing this stuff. And we’re actually remembering all this great stuff we have learned!

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Spending labor day!

Duggars fans,

Want something to do on Labor day?

Spend it with the duggars! 

Duggars to be guest speakers and singers at the 12th Annual Turning Hearts Celebration

Come enjoy inspiring speakers, beautiful music, hayrides and games, encouraging fellowship, and delicious food.

Family picnic lunch starts at 12:00pm 

Cost: Donations for supper and a love offering will be taken in the evening.

Hard ice cream will be sold.

Location: 

Farm of the Bontrager Family Singers

1881 Johnson Washington Rd

Kalona, IA    52247 

Contact Chelsy with questions and to RSVP:

info@bontragerfamilysingers.com/319-325-4974