Birthdays:
Michelle
Amy
Journey to parenthood:
two months left
Anniversary:
Josh and Anna
Ben and Jessa
Pregnancy updates:
32-35 weeks pregnant
Wedding:
Amy and Dillion
All about grandbabies:
Israel
Meredith
Welcome to the Duggar family blog. Jim Bob and Michelle married in July 1984 and have twenty children. They have thirteen children-in-love. They have thirty-three grandchildren with three on the way due 2025.
Dear Brethren - part one
ReplyDeleteThe issue surrounding Josh and Anna breaks my heart. I am going to make some comments here - which I hope you will consider.
1. In the New Testament, Jesus said that divorce was not to be considered or granted unless there was ADULTERY. Josh committed adultery in his heart long, long before he committed it physically.
2) Each of us will one day stand before God and account for OUR OWN ACTIONS: note - each of us will NOT account for the actions or in-actions of others. Anna did not tell her husband to commit adultery; rather, he decided long ago to do it on his own. He is fixated on sex - I know all about this as a close friend was the same way. Sex is all he thot about, all he wanted. Anna is NOT responsible for anything that Josh has done outside of marriage. Sexual desire is between Anna and Josh - no one else. If Josh was so immature and selfish that he sought it outside of marriage, that is HIS problem - because he chose to do so. (see next point . . . )
3) True LOVE is putting the other person FIRST - in all things! - to the point of sacrificing your wants (and sometimes needs) to help, elevate and edify that other person. Marriage is a two way street: each person has responsibility. And most importantly, each person in the marriage should know what LOVE is before marriage! I don't see that in this marriage. Sex should be a loving, caring result of the two coming together: it should not be the reason for the marriage, nor is it the whole enchilada! If all Josh thinks about and wants is sex, he seriously needs to go back to square one and find out what true LOVE is. I have recommended young people to read / see the video of The Love Dare. Truly, it gives one a wonderful, deep view of God's LOVE - the kind that Jesus said we need to have for God and each other. This may be disagreeable to you, but truly, sex is not for pass-time, entertainment, sport etc even inside of a marriage. It is supposed to be a very intimate and pleasurable thing between a man and wife. It should not be the focus of a marriage: Jesus should be the focus at all times. Sex is the result of a coming together of two hearts as one who want to please one another. There is definitely something very wrong when one of the persons puts sex above everything and everyone else: that is why you all are facing such a horrifying issue at this time, yes?!
Dear Brethren - part two
ReplyDelete4) I stated that the New Testament said that divorce can be granted when one of the persons has committed adultery. However, I am against divorce except for a last resort. That said, Anna and the children should leave Josh where he is at and let him work it out as long as it takes. She should be somewhere safe with the children - with her family. Josh has no business seeing her or the kids presently, tho counseling with Anna in the future is a must if profitable. Josh has obviously had sex issues since the age of 14: over 13 years. This problem will not resolve overnight, and I think 6 months or even a year of treatment is too high an expectation to expect healing. Yes, God works miracles: but Josh is going to have to fully submit in order to have any chance of healing. And you can take this to the bank: if Anna is counseled to believe that A) this was her fault and B) she has to completely submit to all Josh's desires no matter what, you will be undermining Josh's healing: for he will continue to think that she is the problem instead of his own heart. He is already blaming others: do not help him perpetuate his lying and deceiving attitudes when it comes to sex or he will never heal.
Finally, I will say this: whatever any of us does inside or outside a marriage or other relationship (family, friends) is a choice we make, with or without God. No one else makes that choice for us. Once made, we must suffer the consequences of that choice. Unfortunately, we usually drag someone else down with us: in this case, it was Anna, the kids and other family members. Do not punish Anna for her husband's roving eye! Instead, lift her up before God, elevate her, edify her - for she did not stray from the marriage, but now must take over 100% responsibility for the result of that issue and for the marriage & the kids.
As for Josh, pray for him also, but do not give him any outs: he deserves all the blame and needs to see / understand his culpability and how he has hurt so many people. He needs to see and realize the difference between true LOVE and sex. He needs to turn his focus to the Lord unconditionally. He needs to be totally broken down that the Lord may remake him. The future of this marriage will depend upon Josh's renewed unconditional relationship with the Lord, or the lack thereof.
I pray for you all.